Should You Mention Your Diverse Cast in a Query

8/6/2014

I’m having so much fun critiquing Pitch Wars queries! Seriously, you all are very talented and I can’t wait to see my twitter stream blow up with your inevitable success stories. :)

One question that keeps coming up and I don’t have a great answer for is whether or not you should include that you have a diverse cast in your query.

Let’s get a few things out of the way first:

I’m not talking about main characters. If your main character has a diverse background, I’d slip that in to the query. Dear Editor has a good post on this. Basically, “It’s one more feature that distinguishes your project, and its current status on publishing’s radar only helps.”
I’m not talking about when a diverse element in a supporting character is vital to telling the plot. If we need to know that the MC’s brother is an amputee in order to get the plot, then we need to know that.
I’m not talking about when you query an agent or editor who has specifically asked for more diversity in books. For example, Eddie Schneider. In those cases, I’d say something like, “I noticed on the Jabberwocky website that you’re specifically interested in diverse casts. My main character's best friend is Latino...etc....”

What I’m talking about is when your cast is diverse but it’s not vital to know that to understand the story and you aren't querying an agent who specifically said they're looking for diverse casts.

All of my books have diverse love interests and friends. But, when I was querying, I felt like adding that was sort of like saying, “Oh, by the way, my book is realistic.” Heh. I didn’t think it needed to be said and I felt awkward patting myself on the back for, you know, reflecting the world. Aren’t we supposed to do that as writers? Additionally, while many of my characters have diverse aspects to them, those aspects don’t define them. Calling out just those attributes in the query, and not their other interesting and important attributes, felt weird.

However, maybe I was wrong! I can understand the argument that many books don’t have diverse casts (even those that don’t have compelling time/place reasons for it), so maybe it is advantageous to raise your hand and say, “Hey, fyi, my book is diverse.”

As I said, I’m not sure. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and maybe that discussion can help some of you decide whether or not you should include it.

20 Comments

Dan Koboldt link

8/6/2014 05:36:08 am

Caitlin,

Thanks for offering the critique to Pitch Wars entrants, and for raising this question. I can't speak to what an actual literary agent would want -- lots of editors and agents are talking about the need for diversity and how much they want diverse projects -- but I know that many Pitch Wars mentors have said in their bios that they want diverse projects.

I'm a little hesitant to encourage authors to put this into the query letters directly, for two reasons:

1.) Every aspiring author who's keeping tabs on the industry knows that agents/editors are looking for diverse books. Some are going to think it's a secret password to a partial/full request, so that word is going to turn up in a LOT of queries for projects that might not live up to the promise of it.

2.) A lean, well-crafted query that follows the formula laid out by your query school (Query Shark) or mine (Anne Mini) doesn't really have a place to put this information. Writing "My book has diversity" has the sound of a sales pitch to it. It's like saying "My book is fast-paced."

In my opinion, the only way this belongs in the query is if you happen to BE a member of a minority group featured in your book. If so, you might squeeze that into your bio (e.g., "This book draws on my experience growing up as the only Indian kid in an all-white elementary school.").

Otherwise, my advice is to let the work speak for itself. If your book features people of color, or under-represented cultures, that should be evident in the manuscript. Probably in chapter 1.

caitlin

8/6/2014 05:45:41 am

Thanks Dan, great points. I completely agree that stating it as a fact can sound a little too sales pitchy. And a query is supposed to show the agent what your work is about, not tell them. I think you can make an exception if the agent/editor/mentor specifically asked for it (as I note above), but otherwise I'm not sure.

Kelly Siskind

8/6/2014 06:33:23 am

Thank you to Caitlin for bringing this subject up, and to Dan for shedding more light on it. As Caitlin knows, I'm walking that fine line of 'sales pitching' diversity in my MS. My supporting cast has a vital role, but through this discussion, I've realized they don't need to appear in the query to sell my story. My MCs and writing will do that. If the diversity of the characters affects the plot directly or pertains to the writer's background/insights, then it should be there. Otherwise...to the chopping block it goes!

8/6/2014 06:35:33 am

Thanks for weighing in Kelly! :)

Dannie Morin link

8/6/2014 02:04:34 pm

What Dan said. ::)

Also, beware of bandwagoning on trends. Agents can smell that a mile away, as will the mentors requesting diversity.

For me, it goes without saying that your cast should be diverse, no matter what you're writing. As you said--that's life. If your cast is whitewashed (or whatever) that's a problem to consider, no matter what you're writing..

Caitlin

8/7/2014 12:16:00 am

Thanks Dannie! Ditto on all your points! :)

Giora

8/6/2014 09:35:59 am

I feel that diversity is very relevant if it is connected to the main characters, otherwise it feels like the diversity was added as a token to the story. For example, in the HUNGER GAMES Rue has dark skin making her a diverse secondary character, but Katniss is not. The diversity of the secondary cast in HUNGER GAMES isn't relevant. Mentioning the diversity of the cast of secondary characters doesn't add to the query because the main characters are the focus of the storyline. With all the talk about diversity, publishing is a business and books without diversity are selling better, so most agents and editors and publishers will focus on a query that can sell the book. Thanks again for your help, Caitlin.

8/6/2014 11:10:32 am

Well, I hope that's not the case, but, sadly, it might be.

To be clear, I'm definitely not suggesting that you omit that your book is diverse in order to entice agents or editors who would shy away from that element. Personally, I wouldn't want to work with agents and editors who didn't appreciate the diversity in my books.

I'm more suggesting that, in a query for the Hunger Games, as you mention, is it odd to throw in that some of the secondary characters aren't white, unless that's relevant to the story. And I'm not talking about relevant to the larger story. In a good book, every character, every line, will be relevant and necessary. But a query should boil everything down to the bare essentials.

Karen Sandler link

8/7/2014 01:56:54 am

"With all the talk about diversity, publishing is a business and books without diversity are selling better"

I'd like to see statistics on this. I'd like to see substantiation of this statement. Because until diverse books are given a fair showing in the marketplace, until pundits and publishers stop proactively refusing to publish diverse books out of fear they don't sell, until the numbers of diverse books on publishers' list are numerous enough to even do a study of the actual data regarding sales, this is just a wrong-headed self-fulfilling prophecy.

Every book a publisher takes on is a risk. Any book, even the most well-written, is a risk. Until there are many children's books with diverse main characters, until publishers are taking a risk on those books as well, there is no basis in fact that "diverse books don't sell."

8/7/2014 02:19:08 am

Great points Karen, thanks.

It's important to consider that the population in America is growing more and more diverse, which is why books without diversity are seeming more and more inauthentic and out of touch. (And inauthentic, out-of-touch books probably won't sell that well... ).

Kim Moravec

8/6/2014 08:54:17 pm

Thanks for posting this, I've been struggling with this a lot in my YA thriller. On the one hand, I've spent an enormous amount of research so that I can write my bad guys as teens caught between being an American Muslim and the easy answers of extremism. I do feel it would make my book more sell-able. On the other hand, it's a detail minor enough that it doesn't fit into my pitch. Do I put it in the final paragraph, or is it just too much info? Argh!

8/7/2014 12:18:29 am

Hey Kim, I think it really depends on how important that is to the plot. It sounds like it might be important in terms of understanding the antagonistic force.

You might have noticed that I'm giving away critiques: http://www.caitlinsinead.com/blog/pitch-wars-critiques. If you want to send yours along, I can see what might make sense given your plot.

8/7/2014 06:08:08 am

Thank you! Yes, I would. Signing up now. :-)

8/7/2014 05:59:28 am

Responding to Karen. Just look at the list of best sellers to note that almost all of them are non-diversity books, especially for YA. For adults, however, there are more than a few diversity books that did very well. The reason is simple. Generally, readers connect better to main characters that are familiar like themselves. So as long as the majority of readers in the United States are from non-diversity background they will buy books about main characters from their own groups. Just my observation. Naturally as American Hispanics are growing in numbers, for example, and have millions of readers from their group you will see more and more books with Latino or Latina as main character. So the future is bright for books with main characters from a diverse group that is growing in numbers. Other diverse groups who aren't growing will not fare as well.
And by the way, all my three novels are about diversity in locations and main characters: China, Germany and Mexico. But I'm only hopeful about my Mexican novel because American Mexicans are gaining in numbers and will have more readers.

8/7/2014 06:42:36 am

Two problems I see with your argument. First, the misunderstanding that only bestselling books matter in the marketplace. That only a book selling at that highest tier of bestsellerdom is making any money for the publisher. If that were the case, then a whole heck of a lot of white authors are also failing (myself included). Because of all the thousands of books published each year, only a rarified few become bestsellers. It's like hitting the lottery.

Second, your statement about readers only wanting to read about people familiar to them is preposterous. Do you think the Harry Potter series was read by only British tween and teen boys who also happen to know magic? That Hunger Games was only read by teen girls living in poverty in post-apocalyptic societies? Of course not. As readers (if we have any curiosity or imagination at all), we want to see and imagine new worlds, read about people the same as us and different than us. We want to read books that are both mirrors of us and windows into other people.

I'll bet you anything that no matter what the race/gender identity/nationality/religion/ableness of the characters readers encounter in books, those characters' emotions and inner lives will be just as relatable to the readers as those of characters of the readers own race/gender identity, etc. We are all human after all and we are more alike than different.

8/7/2014 07:19:07 am

It's important that a reader can relate to the main character. But I agree that the ability to "relate" is wide.

This reminds me a little bit of the argument sometimes that there aren't enough male POV YAs, so what are the poor boys to do! Well, girls have been reading male POVs for ages...and we've been doing just fine. :) (I still relate to Huck Finn and Holden Caulfield....to name some classic YA male povs). I think we should give teen guys a little more credit. (And I'm glad books like the Hunger Games showed that teen boys will read female POVs).

So, Giora, hopefully chances are more optimistic for your books than they might seem. :)

Stacy Whitman link

8/7/2014 07:31:56 am

Re: the use of the term "colorblindness" in the DearEditor link, I actually would never advise pointing out that you were "colorblind" in your casting, for this reason: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/colorblind/201112/colorblind-ideology-is-form-racism.

The thinking is good, though, to make sure especially editors like me (I *only* publish POC main character-starring books) know the ethnicity of your character as well as your connection to that community. I don't care if you're not a member of that community, but I do want to know that you've got a connection to that community and that you've done the hard work of figuring out how to represent that character well.

Story comes first, but I can't tell you how many submissions I've received in which it's impossible to tell the character's race/ethnicity from either the cover letter or the sample chapters (I don't take queries). If it's not obvious from the writing, for an editor who *is* looking for diversity (and particularly an editor ONLY looking for diversity) this is a key component of the cover letter or query.

8/7/2014 11:53:48 pm

Certainly! I think any time an agent/editor specifically asks for something---whether its a steampunk set in Amsterdam or a main character of Vietnamese descent--if your book has that, you should mention it. It shows you've done your research.

Thanks for weighing in Stacy!

8/8/2014 01:30:20 am

Okay, now I really want to read a steampunk set in Amsterdam!

8/7/2014 04:05:45 pm

My observations don't count much because I don't make decisions for the publishing industry like literary agents, editors and publishers do. Hence, it's nice to see and editor like Stacy Whitman offering her professional views. We had a brief chat about 2-3 years ago on Twitter about our mutual love for Korean Pop and Korean TV Drama. Regarding group of readers more likely to read about someone from their group is not about what the main characters are doing, but about the ethnic group that they belong to. Again, just my observations. Best wishes to those who gave comments for success with your books.

Should You Mention Your Diverse Cast in a Query

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