Note: Unfortunately the document view doesn't render well in mobile versions, so it's best to view this on a laptop. I know, that's annoying... sorry :(.  If I can figure out a way to fix it I will!

You wrote a book. Awesome! In fact, you’re so proud of it, you might even let other people give you feedback on it so that you can make it even better. Awesome again!

But, your book is really great as is. So, you won’t need to make that many changes in order to get a book deal and send it out into the world. Right?

Well, maybe not. But it’s more likely that, yeah, there probably will be some changes along the way. While I can’t say exactly what is best for you and your book, I can show you the changes that the first chapter of my book HEARTSICK went through along that bumpy road to publication.

A couple things to consider before we get started.

• Believe it or not, despite the many blocks of red passages, I actually thought this would be a good exercise to do with HEARTSICK's first chapter because, in many ways, it didn’t change much. There were many scenes that were cut completely and many new scenes that were added along the way.But this first chapter stayed relatively intact (meaning, it was pretty much the same scene) throughout the entire process. So these are the types of changes you might be able to expect in scenes that don’t end up on the cutting room floor.
  
• I’m starting with the first version I felt comfortable even sharing with people (i.e., my writers group). There were many other drafts that you don’t get to see here because, well, they are so shitty I don’t want to share them even in a “this is a rough draft!” way. My first (and second, and third, and….you get the idea) drafts are glorious, raw monstrosities that I, and I alone, get to see. But isn’t that what makes writing fun. :)
  

So, first, let’s just see how many overall changes we’re talking about here. What’s the difference between the version I shared with my writers’ group when this books was just getting going and the final, published version…

Egad that’s a lot of red! Okay, let’s step back a little bit. How many changes did I make after I talked to my writers’ group, posted the first page in forums to get more feedback, and thought over things a little more? What was the difference between that first submission to my writers' group and the version I sent to critique partners once the entire book was “done.”

Okay, still a lot of red. As you can see I also took out a whole person (Jake really wasn’t pulling his weight in the book) and changed David’s name to Conrad. I also changed things that no longer made sense in the grand scheme of the story. (When I submitted the chapter to my group, I only had about 25% of the book written. I sent the entire, completed novel to my CPs). 

My critique partners are amazing and they pointed out several things I should change in the book overall. Some of those things affected the first chapter. This shows the changes between the version I sent to my CPs and the version I sent to agents! 

Yeah, lots of changes. You'll notice I changed up characters and had Danny as the center of the action instead of Mei. Danny plays a greater role in the book and it made sense to make him more prominent in this first scene. Honestly, most of the really big changes in the revision don't happen until after the midpoint of the novel. But, as you can see, that doesn't mean the first chapter didn't need a lot of work. 

And what happened with this version? I got an offer of representation from Andrea Somberg!!! This, of course, was fantastic news, but it in no way meant that my work was done. Far from it. Andrea worked with me on some major revisions that would make the book more marketable. I also sent the revision to two new critique partners to get additional feedback. These are the changes between the version I originally sent to  agents and the version my agent sent to editors. :)

And, you know what? I was lucky enough to sign with Carina Press for a two-book deal! Kerri Buckley, my brilliant editor, worked with me on developmental and line edits to really whip the story into shape. Those changes are shown here:

And, finally, a copyeditor and a proofreader gave everything one final polish and ensured that it followed Carina Press style (which, as you can see, for some strange reason prefers you don’t negatively portray real-life products…whoops…).

And, that’s it! it’s out in the world now!

If you have any questions about this, feel free to add them in the comments below or shoot me an email. :)

I'm very happy to share the cool cover of Keith W. Willis's book, TRAITOR KNIGHT. 

Morgan McRobbie will do anything to protect the kingdom of Kilbourne.

Even betray it.

When Morgan rescues a damsel-in-distress from an errant dragon, he expects she’ll swoon, murmuring “My hero!” Instead, Marissa has only loathing for the man everyone believes will betray Kilbourne. That’s fine with Morgan. A woman in his life would just complicate things.  

A high-level informer threatens the kingdom’s security, and Morgan is out to stop him. Posing as a turncoat himself, he walks a fine line between honor and betrayal. A single misstep could result in disaster, and his mission is fraught with distractions: the pesky dragon, a pair of conniving courtiers, a surfeit of spies, and the disillusioned damsel who’s certain Morgan can’t be trusted. 

If Morgan’s going to save the kingdom, win the girl, and manage to stay alive, he’ll need to step up his game. Because the traitor is lurking in the shadows, and his scheme calls not just for the betrayal of Kilbourne, but also the destruction of Morgan McRobbie.

About the author:  Keith W. Willis graduated (a long time ago) from Berry College with a BA in English Literature and a desire to tell stories. He lives with his amazingly patient, loving, and supportive wife Patty in the upper Hudson Valley region of New York. Keith believes that those rumbling noises long attributed to Henry Hudson’s crew bowling are in actuality dragons grumbling. When Keith isn’t writing down fantastical tales from the land of Kilbourne, he manages a group of database content editors for a global information technology firm. TRAITOR KNIGHT is his first published novel. Check out Keith’s website Writing@Knight or the TRAITOR KNIGHT Facebook page. And be sure to follow @kilbourneknight on Twitter.



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