#SFFPit is Coming!

6/16/2015

#SFFPit is this Thursday, June 18!!! My friend Dan Koboldt does a great job of running this hashtag and it's an awesome opportunity to get your speculative ideas in front of agents and editors. Read all the details here.

If you would like feedback on your pitch, please post it below sometime today or tonight and I will respond to all pitches tonight. And if you have thoughts on other pitches, feel free to weigh in! :)

You can check out some of my previous rounds of pitch critiques if you're looking for inspiration/thoughts.

And, as a friendly reminder, I also offer free query and first page critiques to my subscribers.

I'm looking forward to reading your pitches! :)

31 Comments

Maxym link

6/16/2015 02:24:58 am

Hi Caitlin!

Thanks so much for offering this service - this is my first go around at Twitter pitches, so I'll gladly take any advice you have to offer! I like connecting with other authors, so your invite was definitely a good find on Twitter. :)

I've got a bunch so far, seeing as we can do two per hour, but here are a few that I feel capture the main gist.

1. Self-doubting? Check. Shifting into her spirit animal? Soft maybe. Dying at the hand of her new lover? Totally possible. #SFFpit #NA #FR #UF

2. Vampires are one thing, but a Huntsmen interested in killing her? Not how Zayria thought their first date would go. #SFFpit #NA #FR #UF

3. Zayria can save the townsfolk of Ririe from a rogue vampire attack, but only if she can master her own soul first. #SFFpit #NA #FR #UF

Thanks in advance for your advice!

Caitlin

6/17/2015 01:54:30 am

I'm so sorry I missed this last night! I also like connecting with other authors, so, hello and welcome! :)

I think these all work, but I really love the first one. It's so hard to get character and stakes into a twitter pitch, much less voice, but you've somehow pulled it off!

Sounds like a fun story. Good luck! :)

Maxym link

6/17/2015 02:00:30 am

No worries! :) I've also signed up for your newsletter to keep on the up and up! Thanks for your input, much appreciated.

Suzanne

6/16/2015 06:13:51 am

Hi Caitlin,

I would love some feedback. My pitch is for an Urban Fantasy and one for a Sci-Fi YA.

1. #SFFpit Logansville,a town where a wolf turns into a man and a serial killer harvests organs. Strange is a way of life. #urbanfantasy

2. #SFFpit Jimmy 14832 must figure out what is true and what is cryopsychosis - the fate of humanity rests with his sanity. #scifi #YA

3. #SFFpit Zach's attacked.Police receive pickled organs.A wolf turns into a man on the full moon.Welcome to Logansville.#urbanfantasy

4. #SFFpit On his first day out of the tubes,Jimmy finds out he has to save mankind. Problem is, he's not sure if he's sane. #YA #scifi

Caitlin

6/16/2015 10:54:58 am

I'd go with the charecter focused ones, not the setting ones. And I really like that last one! Definetley intriguing! :)

Cynthia Murphy

6/16/2015 06:49:45 am

Hi Caitlin,

This is great! I'd love your feedback on my pitch, thanks in advance.

Gods and monsters from Chinese myth battle in modern day Hong Kong. Can two teens and a tattooed goddess save the city?#YA #SFFpit #UF

caitlin

6/16/2015 10:56:44 am

I think this works fine, but you might be able to come up with a stringer pitch by focusing on one charecter. I'd play around with that a little if you haven't yet. Good luck!

Lynn link

6/16/2015 06:54:40 am

Hi Caitlin,

Thank you for your offer of feedback! While they're all variations on the same theme, here are three pitches I plan to use on Thursday for an urban fantasy novel:

#SFFpit #UF He thinks the best monster is a dead one. She's half-monster herself. She must earn his trust before her mother kills them both.

#SFFpit #UF Jaded detective teams up with half-human lesbian. Survival hangs on mutual trust: her mother's behind the monsters they face.

#SFFpit #UF She pretends she's human. Her mother disapproves. Her survival depends on gaining the trust of a monster-hating detective.

caitlin

6/16/2015 11:00:58 am

I think the first one is the strongest, although you don't need "herself." Just say "she's half monster." The other two are a little confusing because half human doesn't neccesarily mean half monster, so some of the context is missing.

But, like I said, I do think the first one works. Good luck! :)

Lynn

6/16/2015 12:02:38 pm

Thank you, Caitlin! I really appreciate it!

David

6/16/2015 06:58:11 am

Hi Caitlin, thanks for offering to do some critiques. Greatly appreciated.

Here's a pitch I used in #pitmad. Hoping to refine it for #SFFpit:

Flintlock #SFFpit: cavalry officer discovers ancient magic, ordered to abandon her homeland to defend old world. Duty or revolution?

caitlin

6/16/2015 02:31:08 pm

What is the duty and what's the evolution? How does the ancient magic play in? It seems like a great setup and choice, but is there any way to clarify things?

Dan Koboldt link

6/16/2015 07:21:51 am

In case I haven't said it recently: Caitlin, you are a gem.

caitlin

6/16/2015 11:01:25 am

Ha, ditto! :)

Shannon

6/16/2015 08:47:44 am

Oh, wow, thanks!

Here are two of my pitches:

1. 17yo Aaron's psychic empathy doesn't make him the Chosen One. It makes him unable to hug his mother.

and

2. Anyone who wants psychic powers never tried to graduate with a high school's worth of test anxiety. Aaron has.

caitlin

6/16/2015 02:33:08 pm

The first one is great. My mind is already somersaulting with what you mean by that (in a good way). Good luck!

Marcel link

6/16/2015 03:28:38 pm

Thanks for offering this service. I really appreciate the feedback. My pitches are variations of the following:

1. Being a god is hard, when all the rest are dead, you have no memories & somehow have to stop the god-killer coming for you. #UF #A #SFFpit

2. A fallen god without memories awakens & must battle the godkiller who killed the rest OR join them & the Earth in death. #UF #A #SFFpit

3. When supernaturals are hunted and killed, a fallen god w/o memories must find a way to stay hidden while fighting the hunter #A #UF #SFFpit

4. All the gods are dead, the last of them must vanquish their killer to bring them back. Too bad, he's new to this god-thing. #UF #A #SFFpit

5. Humans war with gods, humans win. But when the world needs one most, a buried god awakens to a world that only wants him dead #A #UF #SFFpit

Caitlin

6/17/2015 02:08:42 am

I definitely see a cool story emerging from all these, but individually they are a little complicated.

1. He has no memories because all the rest are dead?
2. Join "them," but who is "them." "godkiller" is singular, so the "them" seems to refer to "the rest." So, does that mean join them in death? If so, that makes sense, but with the "OR" you're making it out like these are his two options, 1. battle the godkiller or 2. die, but isn't it obvious for self preservation reasons that he needs to battle someone who's job is to kill him?
3. This one works, but could be stronger
4. All the gods aren't dead...because there is a last one. Also, no comma after "too bad."
5. The world wants him dead but also needs him? I know this can be true, of course, but is it possible to hint at why the humans are misguided?

I think you have an interesting story here, but think a little bit more about how to get it across clearly. Also, use the character name.

Just a suggestion, but it likely needs more tinkering:
John is the last god on earth. He has to vanquish the godkiller to bring back the other gods and save humanity. Too bad he's new to this god-thing.

Sounds like a cool story though. I hope these comments are helpful. Good luck!!! :)

Marcel

6/17/2015 03:11:49 am

This helps a lot. Thank you!

Sam Taylor

6/17/2015 12:35:01 am

Is this critique opportunity still open? If so, here are my pitches, I'd love some feedback. Either way, thanks for helping writers with the challenging Twitter pitches. :)

SHADOWFELL w/nature spirits: Adira treads spirit realms to heal dying lands. But her spirit ally may be sabotaging the work. #SFFpit #YA #EF

Adira must ally with the nature spirits who haunt her to heal their dying world. But her spirit mentor has a darker plan. #SFFpit #YA #EF

Only Adira sees the spirits. "Walk with us," they say. But their home dies & so will Adira's unless she heals their realm. #SFFpit #YA #EF

Caitlin

6/17/2015 02:12:24 am

Oh, sounds kind of spooky. I like the second one the best. However, is it possible to indicate what is at stake for her specifically?

Also, just curious, what is #EF? :)

Dan Koboldt link

6/17/2015 05:49:15 am

#EF is the hashtag for "Epic or High fantasy"

Caitlin

6/17/2015 06:04:44 am

good to know, thanks! :)

Sam Taylor

6/17/2015 07:13:08 am

Thanks for the feedback. I'll continue to tinker with these tonight. You are AWESOME for offering this help. :)

Heather Sudbrock link

6/17/2015 06:15:40 am

Thank you ahead of time, for this great experience and guidance. :)

1. Tori inherits a language empowering her to save humanity. Problem? She’s in love with the prince of the invading immortals. #SFFPIT #YA #PA

2. A lost language empowers Tori to stop the invading immortals and their prince, whom she loves, and save humanity. #SFFPIT #YA #PA #FA

3. 17yo. Tori inherits a lost language that empowers her to save humanity from her love and his invading army of immortals. #SFFPIT #YA #PA #FA

4. Game of Thrones meets Angelfall in year 2050 #SFFPIT #YA #PA #FA

5. Coming-of-age means inheriting power. As the world ends, Tori must choose, save humanity or those she loves. #SFFPIT #YA #PA #FA

6. By denying her destiny, Tori will spare the one she loves but at the cost of humanity and the world as we know it. #SFFPIT #YA #PA #FA

7. The world will end and no one will be spared, unless Tori betrays her boyfriend and returns an archaic weapon to humanity. #SFFPIT #YA #PA

Caitlin

6/17/2015 07:16:05 am

I think the first one and the last one are the strongest. Sounds like a cool story. Good luck! :)

Heather S link

6/17/2015 11:35:05 am

Thank you :)

Dimitri

6/17/2015 08:34:26 am

Hi Kaitlin,

Wondered what you thought of these variations if you got the chance:

1. 16yo Troy Kelso must take selfies with bloodthirsty monsters as part of the exam to obtain a cure for his mom's terminal cancer #SFFPIT #YA

2. 16yo Troy must skydive without a parachute as part of a notoriously bizarre exam to obtain a cure for his mom's terminal cancer #SFFPIT #YA

3. HUNGER GAMES meets MARVEL'S GotG when 16yo Troy signs up for a notoriously bizarre exam to obtain a cure for his mom's cancer #SFFPIT #YA

Caitlin

6/18/2015 12:13:47 am

I think they're all good! What an interesting premise. :) Good luck!

Evan Rodgers

6/17/2015 09:01:09 am

1) Evil Diabolos covets the Putus Tree to become immortal. Only thing stopping him is 11yo firebender Theo. #SFFpit #FA

2) 11yo Theo must use his newfound powers of firebending & telepathy to find a mythical tree & stop Diabolos from turning immortal. #SFFpit #FA

If you could critique mine, that would be great. Thank you.

3) A mythical tree, an evil metal bender, and a dwarf turn an 11yo Theo's world upside down. #SFFpit #FA

4) 11yo Theo must master firebending & telepathy to find a mythical tree & stop an evil war criminal from becoming immortal. #SFFpit #FA

5) 11yo firebender is new to world of magic. To stay, he must find a mythical tree & stop an evil criminal from becoming immortal. #SFFpit #FA

Caitlin

6/18/2015 12:17:17 am

There are some interesting elements here, but I'm not clear what the stakes are. What happens to Theo if he fails? What is his choice?

I guess it's never good for evil beings to be immortal, heh. :) But tying that into how it specifically effects Theo would make the pitches stronger.

Good luck!

#SFFPit is Coming!

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